It can be frustrating to pave a new path, to create a life that was never modeled for you. Everything from mindset to finances to body image can all feel difficult when you are seeking change. New and different requires discomfort, but always remember, from discomfort comes growth. It's easy when you start your journey to be fired up, to believe in yourself, to be full of ideas and motivation. What happens when the newness of this experience fades and the difficult parts set in. What happens when the doubt and fear creep up? Do you have tools to support yourself?
Stop striving for perfection!
Nothing is perfect the first time, ever. You can't be worried about what your journey looks like to everyone else. Not publishing your website until it looks professional, not going to the gym because you don't think you look the part, not using your current awareness to make small changes because you tell yourself it won't be enough; these decisions and thoughts are stalling your progress. Unfortunately, I don't have a masterclass of how to get rich quick, how to lose 30lbs in two weeks, or how to become a whole new person in one weekend. The truth is, fast and easy sells but slow and steady creates real change. Learning is messy, chances are you won't do it right the first or even the fifth time. It is ok. Do it anyway. When you were a baby learning to walk, was it pretty? Not at all. Did that mean you just sat down and gave up? No, you tried again and probably failed that time too. As a matter of fact, it took quite a few weeks to get fully confident, in this one foot in front of the other thing. This translates to the rest of life. The business doesn't happen overnight, the body takes time and patience, and the mindset takes practice. Allow the process to be messy, let go of your fear of being seen as imperfect on your journey, we all are. Try on freedom for a change, be free to let your humanness hang out and experience everything a new journey has to offer.
Give yourself genuine recognition, especially for the little things
This revelation came to me one night. I don't know about you but I had this pattern of being super consistent on making one small change for all of about three days. After the third day, everything slowly began falling apart. I would fall off of my one commitment and everything came down behind it like an avalanche, I was back at square one for the millionth time. Frustrating is an understatement. So I asked myself why, and I allowed myself to meditate on this idea, welcoming all feelings and ideas to surface with an intention of nonjudgement. Maybe this revelation will resonate with you.
As I sat I began to think about how I spoke to myself before and during the inevitable avalanche of broken consistency. I noticed when I would give myself recognition for the small change I had been implementing there was always another voice in my head telling me I was ridiculous for thinking anything I did up to now deserved approval or praise. This voice would tell me it wasn't enough and that I had to go out and do more. This is when the abandonment would begin. The one small thing I was slowly focusing on keeping consistent was now completely thrown out the window, useless. I would add a million things to a completely new list attempting to make this negative voice in my head proud. Of course the new list felt completely overwhelming and impossible. Naturally, feeling defeated, I would avoid all my new to-do's. In turn I would get mad and disappointed in myself because not only did I not do a single thing on the new list, but I didn't even do the one simple thing that I promised myself I would. You can only imagine what that negative voice sounded like now. This habitual thinking ran my life until this revelation.
After I had this new awareness from my meditation I was both sad and thankful. Sad for the little girl in me that learned that negative voice from someone who was supposed to love and care for me. Someone who was supposed to raise me to be a strong and confident woman. And then I was thankful that I have this knowledge and power and I can give myself what I really deserve. Now I keep those tiny promises and when I hear that voice start to come in and tell me an old story I notice it, I feel it, and I remember that I am writing a new story. One where I know every small step matters. A story that says I know I am enough and I am proud of myself no matter what happens. I treat myself with love and kindness while also holding myself accountable. Some people say it is better to be feared than loved. I don't believe that, I believe love heals. I feared the person who instilled this mean voice into my awareness. I don't want to fear myself. I will take all the time and effort required to learn to speak loving and kindly to myself on my journey.
Perfection and negative self talk can stop you from shining your light. It is not easy overriding fear and doubt and taking the road never taught. But it is possible, and the world needs your light, your lessons, and your love. You are worth fighting for, so fight. Learn, experience, reprogram, and start over as many times as you need to. One day it will all be worth it, I believe in you.