It is hard to write about Hurricane Ian without finding myself censoring my words. Not wanting to be received as disrespectful, insensitive or undermining in any way the overwhelm, loss and devastation South Florida is experiencing. My intention is to hold space and acknowledge the experience we had here. By no means can our experience be compared, nor should it be, to the horror the eye of Ian left behind. I am instead inviting compassion for those indirectly affected. We all have feelings based on our experience, and those feelings are allowed to be valid and real, without taking away from the experience of anyone else. If you feel triggered by this read I understand and respect your feelings as valid. I also invite you to welcome the trigger to connect you deeper to yourself, noticing where your truth has been silenced in the shadow of someone else's experience.
This Sunday we headed to the beach for our treasured movement and meditation practice. We arrived full of gratitude, but also with heavy hearts. Hearts that spoke of survivors' guilt and the emotional roller coaster that was hurricane Ian, and what it had left in its tracks.
It was not lost on us that if the direction of hurricane Ian had not changed, our Sunday morning would have looked very different. There was a blanket of mixed emotions covering all of us, torn between gratitude and deep loss. The pain in our hearts for everyone affected by this natural disaster was palpable.
With both gratitude and grief we connected to nature, on the beach, centering ourselves and our community in hopes of beginning to heal. The movement portion of our practice focused on becoming fully engrossed in how it feels to be in our bodies. Simple and gentle movement allowed us to welcome awareness to even the slightest sensations in our body. How our sit bones felt connected to the earth, noticing sensations from our toes to our calves, to the crown of our heads. Paying as close attention to ourselves as we would our phone, a movie or any activity that is all consuming. Immersing ourselves so deep in the feeling sensations in our bodies until we no longer noticed external distractions. All week our attention was faced outward, to the news, to preparing, to the stress that took over our world. This was our time to come back to our bodies and to ourselves.
As we transitioned into our meditation practice we focused our attention to our mind, to the quality of our thoughts. Giving ourselves what we required; presence, love, understanding and acceptance. Focusing on feeling the sun shine on our face, listening to the birds as they sang through their morning routine, and hearing the water quietly reaching the shore. We took a moment to slow down and appreciate both ourselves as well as mother nature. Acknowledging that just as mother nature can be as beautiful and abundant as this morning; she can also be as angry, destructive and painful as a hurricane. This connection was inviting us to notice how we love and appreciate her anyway. Looking into the mirror that mother nature was reflecting back to us, reminding us that just like mother nature, we are all encompassing. We are full of love and happiness, and also rage, sadness and pain. Giving us permission to love and appreciate ourselves through it all as well.
After our individual practice we took time to connect to each other. We created space for each one of us to share. Allowing ourselves to be seen and heard, providing a safe space among one another. We shared our pain, our gratitude and everything in-between. I shared that part of me felt as though I had passed along a terrible illness to someone else, after all, this storm was headed straight for us. I spoke of the guilt I felt for something I had zero control over, and yet I was unable to logic the feeling away. As we shared we came to understand that we were all feeling very similar things. Feeling the stress of preparing for days, deciding to evacuate, tracking the storm, waiting for its arrival, and eventually watching the devastation tear apart communities that did not have nearly as much time as we did to prepare. We realized we were not alone in our feelings and we welcomed everyone's different perspectives. Understanding that under our sadness was deep compassion and empathy.
As we spoke we realized this event triggered feelings of past situations where we were not in control. Sharing everything from Covid to cancer, we gave each other a place to speak openly and honestly, without judgement or expectations. This is a reminder that our lives are both a personal and collective experience, what we do personally directly affects the collective. Creating a safe space in community is an undervalued opportunity for us to heal and connect as a whole.
Our thoughts and prayers are with all of Florida, especially those in South Florida suffering unimaginable loss.
Creative Play Children's Learning Center, located in the heart of Gulfport, is collecting donations to be sent down to our Southern Neighbors this Thursday as well as more runs to follow.
Items that are requested are as follows:
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Food that does not need to be heated up ex: tuna, crackers
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Dog and cat food
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Granola bars/snacks
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Toiletries
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Kid's items
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Blankets & pillows
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Water
Feel free to email me with any questions about donating at daywithrayvinrey@gmail.com